


your voice too doesn’t reach, it scatters into pieces.

by nyalex



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Blueberry Jam, Jamdori AU, Self-Harm, Suicide, so basically uh sayo fucking dies, the title is horrible but just deal with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 20:44:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20103352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyalex/pseuds/nyalex
Summary: :•)





	your voice too doesn’t reach, it scatters into pieces.

**Author's Note:**

> sayo im so fucking sorry you dont deserve this,

And she’s in her room. She’s been in her room for hours now. It was past midnight, but she couldn’t give up now, she couldn’t. Something just didn’t sound right at all, yet she wasn’t able to figure it out. She couldn’t let Hina beat her. She couldn’t let her be better at guitar. The only thing she had left. Hina couldn’t just take it away from her.

But she would try to, of course she would. Hina always followed in her steps. Everything Sayo did, Hina wanted to try too, and she always did it better than Sayo. Everyone always praised Hina, and Sayo hated every single second of it. Ever since they were children. 

“Hina, you’re so smart!”  
“Wow, you’re so good at this!”  
“How do you always get such high grades?”

But no one ever said anything about Sayo. Never. Never. And it really fucking hurt. It made her feel horrible. It made her feel like she amounted to nothing. It made her feel like everything she did was pointless, a waste of time. 

It had always been like that. Until she picked up the guitar. It made her happy. She felt like she could be happy again. But no, of course her sister couldn’t just stay out of her business. Of course she’d find out. Of course, just like always, Hina would follow in her steps. And of course. Of fucking course, Hina picked up the guitar, too. And in no time, she was already better than Sayo.

And it hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt so bad, and Sayo just couldn’t stand it anymore.

She sighed, frustrated, setting the guitar down and then looking at her hands. All her fingers had cuts and bandages over them. Her bandmates and her sister worried about her so much.

“Sayo, don’t push yourself too hard.”  
“Who else will play guitar for us if you can’t?”  
“Onee-chan, what happend to your hands?”

‘Shut up. Shut up. I don’t want to hear your stupid voice! I don’t wanna see your stupid face! SHUT UP! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!’

Sayo sat at her desk, burying her face in her hands. She was this close to breaking down into tears. She could barely hold back sniffles and sobs.

‘Did you only realize just now? You’ll never be better than Hina. Never. You’ll always be in her shadow. You’re so fucking pathetic.’

‘Maybe the world would be better off without you. You wouldn’t have to worry about Hina being better than you anymore, either.”

Those urges were coming back to her now, oh no. Oh no. No, no. 

Yet she couldn’t help it. 

She sat up, very quietly opening the door and walking into the bathroom. Looking around, she finally found what she was looking for. A screwdriver. She picked it up, looking at it for a moment and then, looked at her hand.

Was she really gonna do this?

Her hands were shaking. She couldn’t back out now though.

Sayo took a deep breath, and then plunged the screwdriver right through her hand. She let out a scream, dropping the screwdriver onto the floor. She stared at her now bloody, shaking hand. Tears well up in her eyes, but she tries to hold them back, though unsuccessfully.

She can’t go back now. If she’s started, she might as well go with it until the end, even if she didn’t want to.

Her sobbing and sniffling was getting louder and she was afraid Hina might hear it, that she might come here, that she might try to stop her. A part of her really wished it wouldn’t happen, that Hina would just not hear anything, yet a small part of her wishes she would be here right now. A part of her really didn’t want this anymore.

Sayo grabbed the screwdriver, now covered in her own blood and without hesitating any moment, she stabbed herself in the stomach, multiple times. She didn’t scream this time though. The only sound that could be heard was the stabbing noises. 

Her vision was going blurry. Breathing was becoming harder as seconds passed.

And soon. It was all black.


End file.
